Neil & Nathan

Neil and his family have been providing care for Nathan, his nephew, since Nathan was seven years old. Following the tragic loss of Nathan's mother, Neil and his wife stepped in to provide a safe and nurturing home. Over the years, Nathan has become a vital part of the family, growing alongside Neil’s children. Now 19, Nathan is supported through the Shared Lives scheme facilitated by Ategi, enabling him to remain with the family as he transitions into adulthood. 

The Need for Care 

Nathan has a diagnosis of autism and global developmental delay, requiring tailored support in daily activities. While he demonstrates some independence, such as going to college and participating in social groups, he needs assistance with cooking, managing finances, and navigating new or unexpected situations. His towering height (nearly 7 feet) and unique physical traits add to the complexity of his care. 

“He can be independent in some ways,” says Neil, “but there are things he needs help with—like cooking. We trust him with a microwave but definitely not with the oven.” Neil also emphasises Nathan’s need for routine, explaining, “If his routine changes, even slightly, it can throw him off completely.” 

The Role of Shared Lives 

Shared Lives has been pivotal in ensuring that Nathan remains in a familiar, supportive environment. The program allows Neil, a stay-at-home carer, to focus on Nathan's development without the financial strain of seeking external employment. 

“The biggest worry was that I’d have to get another job, which might mean Nathan wouldn’t be able to live with us anymore,” Neil reflects. “Shared Lives has made it possible for us to keep him with the family and support him the way he needs.” 

Through Shared Lives, Neil and his wife also gain access to training and guidance, enabling them to better support Nathan’s needs while maintaining their family routines. 

Challenges and Successes 

The family has cultivated a stable and enriching environment for Nathan. His routine includes attending college, participating in hobbies like Boccia (a Paralympic sport), and joining the family on holidays. These activities foster Nathan’s independence and social engagement. 

Neil proudly shares, “He’s been doing Boccia for about four years now. He walks to the sessions himself, pays the fee via bank transfer, and takes himself home afterward. It’s been great for his confidence.” 

Future Aspirations 

The family is working with Ategi, Nathan’s college, and other local resources to explore next steps as Nathan approaches the end of his college program. They aim to help him develop practical skills and identify meaningful work opportunities that align with his interests and abilities. 

“Wherever he goes, he has to be happy,” Neil explains. “He needs purpose—something that gives him a reason to wake up and feel like he’s achieved something, even if it’s just helping at a care home or setting tables at a church.” 

The family is also considering other programs, like Choices, and discussing options with Shared Lives to ensure Nathan’s transition to adulthood is smooth and supportive. 

Impact on the Family 

Nathan’s presence has profoundly shaped the Allen household, fostering empathy, resilience, and teamwork among family members. Neil highlights how his children have grown up understanding Nathan’s needs and adapting to accommodate him. 

“The kids haven’t really known any different,” Neil says. “Nathan has always been part of our family. He’s taught us all patience and understanding. It’s just who we are.” 

Looking to the future...

Looking to the future, Neil and his wife are even considering taking on additional Shared Lives placements. “We’ve been lucky because we know Nathan so well, but we’ve talked about the possibility of supporting someone else through Shared Lives in the future. It could be a great next step for us.” 

Neil story highlights the transformative power of Shared Lives. Shared Lives has enabled Nathan to thrive within his family environment while empowering Neil and his wife to balance caregiving with family life. This arrangement underscores the importance of community-focused care models in promoting stability and independence for individuals with additional needs. 

“Shared Lives has allowed us to do what we do best—support Nathan as a family,” Neil says. “It’s given him a life where he feels safe and valued, and it’s allowed us to be there for him and for each other.” 

 

Nathan standing next to his display he made for college about one of his passions, Knight Rider.

Shared Lives has allowed us to do what we do best—support Nathan as a family. It’s given him a life where he feels safe and valued, and it’s allowed us to be there for him and for each other.
- Neil

Nathan celebrating his 19th birhday.